The Preface of Lust
by Akariiiin
Summary: The girl glared into the mirror as she tangled her hair through the short pink locks. The image of herself shattered as she pictured the mirror breaking into a million pieces. Like the heart that belonged to the prince. Like the ring she'd never wear.


The bare back of a 15 year old girl faced away from the clouded shower mirror.

Not as if it mattered. No matter when she looked into it, the person she would see wouldn't be her.

As Amu stepped out of the chilled bathroom, she gracefully made it to her room, proceeding to dry off her rose colored hair, one of her features that she had managed to keep the same throughout these years of growing.

The girl glared into the mirror as she tangled her hair through the short pink locks. The image of herself shattered as she pictured the mirror breaking into a million pieces. Like the heart that belonged to the prince. Like the ring she'd never wear.

Growing up from the world a girl like her lived in, you would expect that her life would be nothing short of perfection. Spending her elementary days as secret puella magi, living in the golden years with everyone she thought she knew and loved. As an optimistic middle schooler, you would think that upon entering her high school years each day would be another day of magic.

It was. In every dream, every day was like that.

Relationships come and go, along with friendships. Trust breaks and can never be fully replenished. That's just how life is. Just because you grew up surrounded with the perfect boy, the perfect friends, doesn't mean that it will stay like that.

The good times don't last forever.

She let her towel fall of her slim body, which was then replaced by a robe which color resembled the blush she hadn't worn in years.

Sitting out on the balcony, she let the wind swoosh over her light pink hair. Not too long ago, she was holding a cool can of milk in her right hand. Now, she was holding warm doses of pills in her left.

She wasn't planning to overdose, of course. No matter how far it got, Amu swore to herself that she would stay strong and continue to live, no matter what. Even if these pills knocked her out for a good 20 hours, she would wake up. She'd wake up to the world even if the world preferred she never did. That's who she was.

Hesitantly, she lifted the pills towards her pale lips; the ones that touched his one too many times. She felt sick, remembering that day, the one where she could almost feel the taste of her lips on his.

Cheating isn't something everyone does to hurt someone else. Sometimes, it's simply of matter of not being able to decide. At least, that's what Tadase had tried to explain to Amu. Last year, in room 504, if Amu had let her winter jacket stay there overnight, maybe she'd still be happy.

Or maybe she would still be dating the one who lip-locked with her best friend every day after school in a locked up classroom. Who knows everything else he did to her. The things that she planned for him to do to her were taken by the petite girl who was too cold to care.

The pills nearly sat on her lips. If she had taken the wrong ones, it was over. She wouldn't have to deal with seeing the faces of people who she erased in her dreams. They wouldn't have to deal with her.

All of them.

_Ikuto._

The name popped up in her mind before she had a chance to stop it. He, to her, was the last person she needed to think about at this moment.

Right now, he was away from her. Like everyone else, he had probably moved on from the blushing mahou shoujo.

Just because he had moved on, however, didn't mean she had.

Thoughts raced through her head, thoughts that she couldn't control. She replayed each and every lasting moment she spent with her golden prince. Each smile that was filled with hatred and each laugh that was filled with lies replaced themselves with the habits of a young man who's smirk hid it all.

_Lust._

Was that the word for what she was feeling right now?

She wanted him with her, to comfort her, to tell her how he was right all along, you know, about them being nothing more than just kids.

She let her mind wander to each moment that she never felt with Tadase and pictured it with the one who captured her heart more than anyone could even dream of.

If she was to take the pills in her hand, the moments that she longed for with the man would be nothing more than an illusion. Maybe they would stay that way.

The pills that clenched in her hand disintegrated against the concrete below.

Amu lay to bed, replacing the surreal dreams of the people she thought she knew with lustful dreams of the one person who would always be hers.

Love – An ability to start from scratch in a world that has ended. To realize that the world that had ended was your sanity. To realize that your sanity was always there, he just had to be there, too.

**Not too sure how this came about. Now my parents are pissed off because I decided to write this. Oh well.**

**It's really rushed. Just now thought of it. Interpret what you like from it.**

**Please R&R.**


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